


First Time

by Whyaretheyfictionalcharacters77



Series: Kinktober 2020 [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blowjobs, Bottom Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Canon Universe, Established Levi/Eren Yeager, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, First Time, First Time Bottoming, First Time Topping, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, How Do I Tag, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Idiots in Love, Kinktober, Kinktober 2020, M/M, Making Love, OTP Feels, One Shot, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Post-Canon, Sarcasm, Sarcastic Eren Yeager, Sarcastic Levi, Smut, They love each other, Top Eren Yeager
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:53:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26750914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whyaretheyfictionalcharacters77/pseuds/Whyaretheyfictionalcharacters77
Summary: Levi has always had rules in his life. Even during sex. They've always protected him and made him feel safe.But when Eren comes waltzing in his life and changes everything he realises something more important: he doesn't need rules to love Eren to protect himself, and loving Eren comes as easily as breathing. This brat gifted him all the firsts in his life, the important ones anyway. There's just one last thing Levi wants to gift his brat.'The gift he's giving the brat while hugging his waist with his legs and letting his head fall on the pillow, victim of this strange, indescribable pleasure is freely given; just like the gift Eren is giving him, protecting him with his body and reminding him that he's right there, whispering curses and moans in his ear, is enough to remind him the reasons why he blurted those words in the first place.He feels sore, drowsy and relaxed. There's an unfamiliar vulnerability flooding his senses and he feels as bare as he's never felt before in his life. He feels content. He feels happy. He feels safe.He feels loved'.
Relationships: Levi & Eren Yeager, Levi/Eren Yeager
Series: Kinktober 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1948048
Comments: 7
Kudos: 176





	First Time

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Kinktober List for 2020](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23466580) by [Zaidee (Eyrine)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eyrine/pseuds/Zaidee). 



> Hi everyone!  
> So, forgetting my first ever fanfic I posted on here ages ago (very embarrassing, depressing and I guess badly written - haven't had the courage to look at it again tbh) I promised myself I'd try and post this. I'm very self conscious about my writing and this is my first attempt at smut and I can absolutely guarantee you what they say is 100% true: writing porn is hard.  
> I don't have a beta, so any mistake you find is mine and mine alone.  
> This is my first entry for Kinktober 2020 following this prompt list.  
> It was posted by Eyrine here on AO3 as well. A huge shout out to them!  
> I hope you enjoy it and don't be afraid of leaving comments and constructive criticism down below.  
> xoxo Lexi

He should have seen this coming.

Levi has had rules for everything his whole life. Most of them borne out of necessity, some out of habit. Routine has always meant comfort and safety for him; first in the Underground and then in the Scouts, having habits had been a privilege allowed only in those peaceful, stolen moments between heists and murders and expeditions. Something to be treasured because in the Underground, habits could get anyone killed.

On those rare days during the War, Levi would wake up from a two-hour sleep – three if dark memories left him alone for long enough – nestled in his office chair with cramps and pains all over his body. It would happen just before dawn bled into the night, as the hummingbirds started singing and the darkness still enveloped the Headquarters like a warm duvet. He'd walk into the empty kitchens to prepare his tea with practised, calculated gestures, a meticulous ritual perfected through years of repetition. Sitting in front of the massive hearth in the mess, Levi would enjoy the warmth of the dying fire in the silence of the early morning while sipping his hot beverage. The leafy taste and earthy smell would always soothe him despite the raging death outside the Headquarters and inside his mind.

After finishing his drink, the raven-haired man was accustomed to spend the next hour or two exercising in the biting chill of the training grounds before walking back inside just in time for the end of the night shift. It was a perfect combination of sounds and silences: the corridors of the fort echoing with soft, sleepy grumbles mixed with the inactivity of daybreak. His day would continue in a messy confusion of events: drowsy, young faces mumbling at the tables as they ate breakfast; noisy recruits excited by hand-to-hand combat practise or a gear-training session; two awfully competitive and loud brats who could still barely stand each other despite being part of his squad. There would be reports to write with the slow, careful hand of someone born in the Underground – Erwin's lessons had been useful all those years ago, yet the captain preferred to methodically think about each one of the black letters before putting it to paper – or go ahead's to give for a future shipment of equipment from Yalkell.

Some of those evenings would end finding Levi in front of the lit fireplace in the mess again. Sometimes with Erwin and a good glass of fortified wine imported directly from Mitras, talking about the War and the past and the people they had lost. Others, more quietly pleasurable ones, would be spent in his office with a warm cup of tea and a talkative brat who couldn't seem to shut up about the future.

His routine was always the same in those years.

And just like everything else in his life, sex had rules as well.

Growing up in a squalid brothel in the Underground to the sounds of his mother's cries and moans at the hands of dirty, disgusting old men, Levi has always seen the act of sex as a physical need; a way to relieve tension and stress; something men _had_ to do despite the aversion of the act itself.

The first time he had found himself in that sort of situation himself, Kenny had been the one to put him in the arms of a whore. It was his thirteenth birthday.

“You're a man, now”, he had said as he pushed the boy up the stairs of a filthy building near the north corner of the Underground. The old bastard had even wished him a “nice time”.

During the whole night, the uncontrollable need to wash himself and scratch away the memories of those touches had carved itself deep in Levi's flesh. He had felt sullied, defiled. The only thing he had wanted had been clean his skin raw, until there had been nothing left. The whore had been mature, with grey hair with streaks of yellow that had probably been blond once and bony hips which had hurt Levi more than once. The faint memory of beauty still touched her face but the hard life of the Underground had been cruel to her; caved-in eyes, skeletal fingers, yellowed teeth and a flat chest that would have suited more a girl at the doors of puberty than a woman of at least thirty-five years of age.

Despite the abhorrence and disgust, Levi had come twice that night.

The proud expression on his uncle's face the morning after hadn't been enough to make Levi feel clean.

The raven-haired had felt a sort of repulsed acceptance towards sex from then on. Indeed, it was a vulgar, unhygienic act where naked, sweaty forms, body fluids and unimaginable odours played the main role. But Levi was only human and at his greatest chagrin, he had needs and impulses as well as the next person.

The rules had made him feel safer, more in control.

His own preference towards men had been immediately obvious to Kenny after that disastrous night. The second time the old man had tried to gift Levi with a whore, it had been a boy not much older than him. When the prostitute had brought his lean fingers between pale, creamy legs to touch a puckered hole, Levi had gripped them in a vice grip and growled not to touch him before rolling their bodies around and getting on top.

Being vulnerable in that sort of place, with that sort of people – trust is sparse in the Underground, replaced by the backstabbing of opportunity and survival – was something Levi had avoided at all costs, not unlike a rat avoids cats.

There was never supposed to be affection nor intimacy in the act. Levi has never liked looking at his partners in the eyes, always preferring to take them from behind to satisfy a biological function. During the years, he's indulged in it as little as he could. Not for lack of sexual gratification, but for shame. Levi has always been deeply ashamed of the physical contentment sex brought him. Maybe it's because he's more often been proud of the tight hold he has on his impulses. Maybe because he reminds himself of those old, disgusting men fucking his mother while he was hidden in a corner of the room.

Then Farlan happened but despite the deep, friendly affection the raven-haired had felt for the man, those rules were always followed. Encounter after encounter. No matter how many times Farlan's pleas of 'making love' would tighten his chest. Levi knew very well there was no such thing as that and to prevent each other to end up broken or hurt, there was never any kissing, never any eye-contact. “I want to see your eyes tonight”. Farlan's voice had been so soft, almost broken when that request had fallen from his lips as Levi fucked him one night. The answer had been 'no'.

The numerous experiences in life that had taken away his control from him had been what had caused him to never, ever cease the power to someone else. Not in bed. Pleasure was always a means to an end – scratching an itch, sexual gratification, loosening of tension – never an end in itself.

Eren waltzed in his life like a hurricane of passion and strong beliefs and with him, long list of firsts that Levi had never expected to face, not in his thirties. He can still remember with vivid perfection the first time Eren had made him tea. The captain was sitting in his office, writing reports with slow flicks of his hand. His eyes had started to burn some time ago due to the low lighting of the almost extinguished candles and he put the pen down before looking up at the brat. Eren had been sixteen at the time, eyes just as determined as the first time they'd had a proper conversation in that lurid cell, face clearly slack with tiredness and sleep. The older man had ordered the brat to go fetch some tea and if he hadn't been so focused on an intricate sentence he would've laughed at the wide-eyed expression on that youthful face.

It had taken him almost twenty minutes to come back with a tray and when the shifter had placed his cup in front of him, Levi couldn't help but stare at the brownish liquid.

 _Milk_.

Looking up at Eren, straight into teal eyes darkened by the shadows the fire fell on his face, Levi raised an eyebrows in askance.

“It helps with the bitterness”, he had mumbled, shyly.

He sipped at it with caution. The following 'not bad' had been answer enough for both of them.

*

Their first kiss had been unsure and inexperienced. It was surreal, kissing another human being after the appalling experience he'd had at thirteen. Eren's lips were chapped, dried from the sweet, sticky cider he had drank during the celebrations of Shiganshina's liberation. The captain had left Erwin to deal with the thankful brown-noses of the Military Police and had silently leant on a half-destroyed brick wall, watching his squad of brats having fun with laughters, dancing and dirty songs. He had slipped away little after Connie had fallen asleep against the remains of a well but he hadn't been able to go that far.

Eren was now licking his lips with the timid gestures of a virgin. The shifter was seventeen but if it had been anyone else, the captain would've thought them not innocent at all; after all, the stories of what goes on in the barracks are pretty much true and well-known. Yet, Levi had spent numerous moments with Eren and the shifter had been under surveillance for little more than two years. The raven-haired knew very well no one had visited the brat during those lonely nights sleeping in the cell.

The attraction the brat had had towards him was not a secret to Levi and he had to admit Eren had grown into a fine young man.

He still doesn't know why that evening he let the seventeen year-old kiss him. He doesn't know why he didn't shove him away with a punch on that captivating face. Instead, the captain lifted one of his hand and when he felt the brat tense – probably in anticipation for an attack – Levi had found himself caressing a soft, unblemished cheek with the delicate touch of curiosity.

After a few instants of tickling coercion from Eren's tongue, Levi parted his mouth. It should've been revolting, the moist meeting of the young man's muscle between his lips. And yet, Levi answered in kind as unsure and shy as the shifter.

He couldn't have blamed the alcohol even if he had drank an entire cask of cheap wine considering his high tolerance to it, and Eren seemed as present as always though slightly encouraged by the cider.

When they stopped, Levi felt like someone had punched him in the gut at the sweet, hopeful expression in those breath-taking teal eyes.

“This was a mistake”.

Useless to say, the mistake had happened again.

Eren had been the first person he looked in the face when he first fucked him. In spite of the pull they both could feel – and with silent understanding, affection – Levi had been unmovable in his avoidance of a sexual relationship with the other.

“Is it because I'm seventeen? Because I can guarantee you, if I'm old enough to die for th—”.

“No. But you're my charge, brat. I'm your superior”. And the unspoken 'I'm the one that needs to kill you if it ever comes to that' had hanged heavy between them in Levi's office.

For three years, longing looks, silent pleas and quiet words had been all they'd had.

When the War was over, there was nothing to stop them from getting rid of this _thing_. Because that's what Levi had thought it was: something to get rid of. Just once, and it'd be okay. Yet, during that first time, a strange, unfamiliar need had moved Levi's hands. He slipped out of the warm body beneath him, causing a soft whine to echo in the guest room of the Palace in Mitras, and turned the twenty year old on his back.

Eren's face – sweaty, red and disfigured in pleasure – was _beautiful_ , something Levi had never thought of anyone else. His bright eyes were darkened by lust and yearning, his lips parted in silent moans and heavy pants. His hands – which should've been calloused by years of training and fighting – were soft on his arms while sharp nails bit deeply into his shoulders, probably drawing blood.

Driven by an unnamed feeling, the older man had pushed again between Eren's legs, revelling in the expression of complete abandonment on the shifter's face.

That night, had been the first time he had slept with someone.

The first time he had thought about love.

Sex with Eren brought another peculiar want in him. If there was something Levi started enjoying more than simply satisfying a sexual need, was _bringing_ pleasure to Eren. There was no need for reciprocation, no need to know that the gratification would have been Levi's as well. The noises and the pleas and lewd moans the brat seemed capable of while in the thralls of passion were strangely enough for the captain.

He spent many hours learning and mapping the places that brought more pleasure, the spots that seemed to ignite the other with a fire he wasn't used to witness. Wasn't used to _care_ about.

*

So, really, he should've seen this coming if he'd taken into consideration his history with Eren.

The hut is silent now. The only noises resonating are their slowing breaths and the birds tweeting outside in the forest. The mattress underneath their cooling bodies is slightly dump with sweat and Levi will need to remind Eren to bring the sheets to the stream to clean them up when the brat will be able to walk again. The thought brings an annoying sense of pride in him but the displeasure vanishes as suddenly as it appeared the moment the body next to him moves.

“I was thinking”.

“Bad idea”.

Eren swats him weakly on the chest and once again Levi has to violently push down the smugness in having fucked the energy out of him. “Ass”.

“Why were you thinking about ass?”.

When the raven-haired turns his head to look at Eren's frustrated expression he can't help a small smile to creep on his face.

The twenty-three year-old is lying on his front, the hand that swatted him a familiar weight on Levi's chest as long fingers caress his pale skin. His taut back is bare to the moonlight sneaking in from the closed window and steel eyes move languidly down along the profile to land on the round, tight mount of Eren's cheeks before looking back up at his face. His expression is peaceful, drowsy with his eyes slightly open and wide pupils staring lovingly at him from behind long, brown hair.

Lovingly. Since when doesn't that make him want to run for the hills?

Full lips stretch into a barely contained smile. “I was calling _you_ an ass”.

“I miss the time when you were scared of me”, Levi jokes dryly with a huff.

“I'm literally too fucked out to care, _Captain_ ”.

No one has called him that in years, since the end of the War when he had looked Erwin in the eyes and said he'd had enough. Eren sometimes taunts him with the title but it doesn't bring responsibilities along anymore. He's free from all that shit.

At those words, sighed with weary content, Levi wonders for the first time what it would be like to be in Eren's situation.

“What does it feel like?”, the older man asks before he can stop himself.

He is blinded by a pair of teal eyes opening and peeking at him. “What? Being too fucked out to care?”.

Levi shrugs. “When I fuck you”.

Eren inhales deeply, thoughtfully as he gets closer to the other body. The raven-haired lifts his right arm when the intent becomes clear and the brat settles against him, head on Levi's pillow and arm placed around his pale waist. There is the warm, light pressure of a kiss on his neck and Levi tightens his hold enveloping muscled shoulders in answer.

“It feels like—it feels surreal. Like I always remember how full I am with you inside, like I have this... _ghost_ sensation in me. But everytime we do it again, the memory is not as accurate as I thought”, Eren whispers underneath his ear, his warm breath causing goosebumps to appear on his arms. There's a moment of silence, as if the shifter is trying to assess if Levi wants him to keep going. “I feel safe. It's a nice feeling, it kind of reminds me of when I was a kid and my mum would put this _huge_ cover around me to dry me when it rained outside”.

“Are you comparing me to your _mother_?”.

Eren snorts tiredly at the remark. “ _No_. I'm comparing you to the _sheet_ ”. When Levi is still quiet, he continues. “Anyway, what I meant is that it makes me feel protected, especially when you're on top and you look at me. I don't know, I just—I trust you. It's nice. And it's good. Like, _impossibly_ good”.

“When I look at you?”.

“When you fuck me”.

“Mmm. I noticed”.

Their sweat is starting to cool off and despite being next to the furnace that Eren's body is, Levi can't help a shudder at the evening air in the room. The shifter untangles from his embrace long enough to take a hold of the covers and throw them to blanket their bodies.

“Levi—”.

“What were you thinking about?”.

“What?”, Eren asks, lifting his head from its place on Levi's pillow.

“Before, when you said you were thinking”.

The twenty-three year-old settles back and chuckles sluggishly. “I don't remember”.

It takes him a couple more minutes but then Levi hears the hushed deep breathing of Eren next to his ears, signalling the other has fallen asleep. Even though the older man is drowsy as well, he can't seem to find slumber as easily as his lover, instead staring blankly at the wooden ceiling of their hut outside the ruined Walls, in the East.

Safe. The word is not something Levi would ever used to describe his life. He's never felt safe in the thirty-eight years he's being alive. No, that's a lie. Recalling all the mindless, happy moments he's spent with the brat in the last three years, Levi can honestly say that he's felt safe. He _feels_ safe.

With Eren.

He trusts him with the undoubting conviction only six years of friendship among death and desperation and dependence can bring. And if there is someone who can make him feel treasured, protected and yes, _loved_ , is the shifter currently sleeping next to him.

*

“I want you to fuck me”.

Eren blinks aggressively at him, fingers stilling their massage on his soles, as if his brain can't register the meaning of the words. Levi doesn't blame him; after all, there has never been the actual possibility of him blurting the words, especially not while the two of them were cramped in their wooden bath tub facing one another.

The shifter's hold on his foot goes slack, letting it rest on his tanned chest. “What do you mean?”.

“One would think after three years you'd know the meaning of 'fucking'”, Levi deadpans at the other.

“I do. It's just—”.

“You don't want to?”.

“No. _No_ , I do. I just—didn't think it would be something you wanted”.

Levi shifts his gaze out of the window behind Eren's shoulder. “I didn't”.

“Then—what changed?”.

And isn't that the golden question? Levi's rules have accompanied him his entire life and he is, what? Ready to throw them out of the window for a brat like Eren? When his grey eyes look back at the confused face in front of him, the answer comes naturally and immediately. _Yes_. To tell the truth, Levi had thrown those habits out of the window the moment he had let Eren kiss him in Shiganshina. He had put them aside when they had first fucked. When they had first slept in the same bed. When they had first made _love_.

He has been living with the brat for three years, for fuck's sake. And not in the innocent, friendly way he'd lived with Farlan and Isabel. No, Levi and Eren are domestic, just like a fucking married couple. And isn't that grand?

“ _Me_ ”.

They stare at one another for what feels like hours, _days_. The meaning, the _profound_ meaning of that simple, little word is not lost to Eren. Levi knows it; he can see it. The light in Eren's eyes is far from condescending. Far from excited, as well. He's simply watching Levi with the eyes of a blind person that sees for the first time. In that word, there is an unspoken yet loud confession. Right there, hanging in the air between them.

“Okay”.

Eren doesn't ask him if he's sure, he respects him too much to doubt his decision. He knows Levi too well to even wonder for a second if he had really meant those words and Levi can't help but fall in love with the brash-turned-mature brat in front of him a little bit more.

“When do you want to do it?”.

“Now”, Levi shrugs. “Tonight. Tomorrow. It doesn't matter”.

“It _does_ matter”, Eren contradicts him, ever the passionate one. Ever the romantic.

He sighs deeply. “Fine. Now”. _So we can get it over with_.

Under the studying gaze of Eren the raven-haired feels the need to fidget, possibly trying to escape those eyes. It's almost ironic how much growing up made Eren observant to Levi's every little quirks and tells and if it were anyone else, the older man would feel uncomfortable at being so vulnerable and bare.

The water sloshes melodically when the shifter stands up, his marvellous body unscathed by all the fights thanks to his regenerative ability yet perfected with years of training under Levi's guidance. The vee of his abdomen is defined and tense as he pushes himself up, his flat chest decorated by two brown nipples currently erect due to the cold air. There's a speckle of fine hairs between them, lightened up by the many hours he's spent under the sun bare-chested. Levi follows with his eyes the tantalising veins running down his arms and disappearing into his hands before lowering his gaze at eye-level, where Eren's soft member is resting between two long legs, enveloped by coarse brown hairs.

The brat has turned into an incredibly attractive man and not for the first time Levi wonders _how_ he managed to snatch the attention of such an arresting youth.

Eren clambers over the edge of the tub and bends to kiss Levi, softly and chastely. “I'll wait in bed. Just take your time”.

He is left alone in the tub, only his thoughts to keep him company. He's _sure_ about this, about his decision. That much he knows. However, he can't help but feel an unnerving amount of anxiety at what is about to happen; what he _asked_ to happen. Baring himself this way to someone – despite that someone being Eren – is cause of tense nerves and faster heartbeats. Levi can feel his stomach twisting and tensing, a sensation he can barely remember happening in thirty-eight years.

 _It's Eren_ , he tries to remind himself, repeating it like a mantra as he cleans himself up.

It's uncomfortable, tight and honestly embarrassing yet, like everything else, Levi takes good care of doing it properly and right.

He gets out of the tub, chilled air causing unpleasant shivers to break on his scarred skin. Grabbing a large linen towel, Levi spares only a quick look at the water in the tub before deciding to empty it later on, after the deed is done.

In the bedroom, Eren is still naked while busying himself with fetching the oil and other covers. His shoulder-long hair are still dump from the bath, raining water drops on his back and front as Levi's eyes are drawn to the taunt muscles of his butt-cheeks contracting with every movement the shifter makes.

“We should've invested in a fireplace in the room”, Eren comments half-heartedly as he turns around to look at the other man, hugged in the white sheet.

“Like those rich bastards in the Capital?”. The brunet shrugs at the question. “You run hot enough for the both of us, brat”.

Apparently that's cause to be smug for the younger man and the raven-haired rolls his eyes in affectionate exasperation. Leave it to Eren to still have his old arrogant streak.

The way the other moves towards him right now reminds Levi of a magnificent predator, ready to pounce on his prey. He can see clearly the nervousness in his teal eyes but Eren doesn't seemed discouraged by the novelty of the situation, facing it with the same determination he's always faced any other challenge in his life.

The afternoon light invading the room doesn't hide anything from their eyes and the realisation hits the former captain with unfamiliar embarrassment.

Eren stops in front of him, head lowering to touch willing lips with his own in a slow, placid dance.

“I don't need flowers and honey, brat”.

“Just let me do it my way, okay?”, the brunet tells him peevishly.

Another eye-roll is the concession Levi decides to give him before Eren starts kissing him once more.

At first it's just a timid encounter, chaste and teasing and Levi register with the force of a Titan's slap that _this_ right here is his first time as much as it is Eren's. That thought is strangely calming, letting the man relax into the kiss.

He parts his lips, tongue teasing Eren's mouth in doing the same. The kiss is languid, the wet noises of their tongues meeting an erotic incentive despite their nerves. Warm hands, so soft and careful, graze over his own prompting him gently to let go of the linen sheet and bare himself.

“You okay?”, Eren murmurs against his lips as he keeps kissing him.

“It's fucking freezing”.

“Sorry”. The shifter takes his hand and pulls him onto their bed, the sheets cold by their disuse when they get underneath them. “Better?”.

Levi nods and awkwardly turns on his side to look at Eren, who is simply staring while holding his weight on his left arm. “What?”.

“I'm nervous”.

 _Me too_ , Levi wants to tell him but he doesn't. “We don't have to”.

“I _want_ to. Do you—”, Eren stops himself and lies down in front of the raven-haired. “Just stop me whenever, okay?”.

“Eren, I'm not made of fucking glass”.

“I'm aware, I just want to make this as good for you as you always make it for me”.

And that...Levi should've expected that, really. _This fucking brat_.

Their kiss is still unhurried, drawn-out, tongues moving against each other with the sensuality of familiarity. Levi lifts his hand and grips Eren's nape to pull his face in while tanned fingers scan over his back, their touches a whisper on old battle scars. He's always loved how that body would warm him up, how much hotter Eren runs thanks to his shifter's blood. With it next to him and the covers on top of them, the cold is quickly forgotten as their humid, panting breaths mix. Levi takes the younger man's bottom lip between his lips and oh so carefully bites and pulls it, provoking a low groan from Eren's chest.

A muscled leg settles on his hip and Eren swiftly straddles him, elbows placed next his head and hands gripping his hair in a passionate hold. The weight is not foreign nor unpleasant, reminding Levi of all the times Eren rode him with abandonment, nails biting in his chest and hips moving on his cock. The memories are enough to let him sigh in pleasure and with a tight grip on the straddling thighs, the older man encourages Eren to move.

Their members brush against each other, Eren lowering his head on a pale shoulder with a chocked moan. Wet lips start kissing the raven-haired's neck and shivers and goosebumps break onto his skin, hips pushing up against the brunet's.

When Eren slides his hands down his bare chest and his sides before placing them on the mattress next to his hips Levi knows what's coming. He turns his head, giving space to that wandering mouth and grips harder on the thighs straddling him as Eren slides down after throwing the covers away, nipping and kissing his collarbones, his chest, his abdomen. His wide shoulders push Levi's legs open and not long after, _finally_ , his half-hard cock is engulfed in a familiar, hot mouth.

Levi lift his hips when Eren's head starts bobbing up and down, cheeks hollowing as he sucks the member deeper into his mouth. He can feel the shifter's throat tightening around his head, squeezing marvellously his cock as he swallows, trying to reign in on his gag reflex.

The raven-haired bends his legs, feet flat on the mattress, and despite being naked and bare he doesn't seem to feel the cold air on his body.

Eren slides up and with a slurping popping sound he lifts his head before kissing open-mouthed up his body. He bites his neck hard enough to cause him to groan, then he stretches towards the bedside table, where the vial of oil is. That tiny jar looks so innocuous and yet the sight leaves Levi almost trembling in anxiety.

Teal eyes glance at him and Eren lowers his head, kissing him deeply and filthily. “You okay?”.

“Do you intend to ask me every time you move?”.

“Pretty much. Problem?”, Eren questions him with raised eyebrows.

“Have at it”.

“Wow. Please, contain your enthusiasm”.

Levi glares coldly at him, trying to hide his amusement at his own sarcasm coming out of the other's mouth. “Stop being cheeky, brat”.

Eren nips at his jaw, following the edge until he can suck his earlobe into his mouth. “Would you rather I took you back in my mouth?”.

The breathy question causes him to inhale sharply and he _knows_ the brat heard it – he's most probably smiling smugly to himself, the little shit. Before Levi can retort, Eren scrambles downwards and after taking his hard cock in his hand, he licks it long and slow, from root to tip. His lips settle around the crown and suck it noisily, then pushing down to encase the entire length in his mouth.

“ _Shit_ ”, Levi hisses, bringing his hands to the head between his legs and gripping brown locks.

At the gesture, Eren moans around him, sending vibrations up his body so strongly Levi can feel them in his fucking toes.

Then, it's there. It's the embarrassing, unexpected sensation of a warm, wet finger against his puckered hole and his body stiffen at the presence.

“It's okay”. It's a whisper so low he'd swear he had imagined it if it weren't for the lack of warmth around his cock. “It's fine. Just relax. _Relax_ ”.

 _Easier said than done_.

The finger moves about, circling his tightened entrance with lazy, lethargic motions. Eren peppers his hips with open-mouthed kisses, lovingly. His tongue follows the line where groin meets thigh before his mouth descends on his cock again. The familiar pleasure from Eren's mouth drifting up and down and the relaxed, repetitive gesture between his ass cheeks make his defences go down slightly, his legs opening wider and fingers caressing the long brown hair tickling his waist.

There is pressure and then the uncomfortable sensation of something wrong happening when the finger pushes inside him. It's not painful. Just awkward.

“ _Relax_ ”, Eren breathes once more against his skin before dropping his head again. Inside him, the finger starts moving carefully, sliding in and out with long, drawn-out thrusts. The discomfort is starting to disappear and relaxing once more Levi pushes Eren's head down, arching to meet him to get deeper inside.

The pointer finger is thrust one last time before Eren takes it out, the pressure coming back with the addition of his middle finger, warmer and wetter than before. It's a tighter fit this time and after a precursory push, the shifter starts moving them around, scissoring them to prepare him for his cock now trapped against the mattress.

“How can you fucking like this— _shit_ —this part when I do it?”, Levi growls with his eyes shut, attempting to focus on Eren's mouth instead of his fingers.

“Sorry. It's uncomfortable the first time. I know”, he mumbles reassuringly, stilling his fingers long enough to pull himself upwards and kiss languorously Levi's lips. “I _know_. You always make it so good for me. Just try and relax”.

His mouth sucks a line of marks down his throat, and then Eren's fingers do something...they curl upwards, massaging his insides and Levi, _oh_ , Levi _knows_ what he's trying to find. The memory of the brunet's face when Levi's fingers are inside him and find that little spot is one of the most treasured ones he has. He wonders what that amount of pleasure really feels like.

“Try— _urgh_ —a bit on the left”.

Levi can't really help him in any other way – he has never touched himself inside, nor let anyone else do it for the matter, but he has fingered Eren enough times that he could find the shifter's spot blindfolded and armless. The only hint he has to go with is his own experience in doing this to the other.

“Mine or yours?”.

 _Oh, for fuck's_ — “Yours, you little— _Shit_!”.

Levi widens his legs and arches towards the fingers inside him as an embarrassing, foreign sound draws out of his mouth.

The pleasure is blinding, mind-blowing. He can't tell what exactly he was expecting – he's seen and caused the same reaction in Eren numerous times but _fuck_ , he wasn't imagining _that_.

“Do it again”, Levi breathes out against Eren's mouth, resting his head on his pillow.

Eren shuffle down his body while trying to keep his fingers inside, and takes his hard, _hard_ cock in his mouth before pushing again against that bundle of nerves. He massages it, just like Levi does when he's preparing the youth, and holy Walls, does he understand Eren's reaction now.

Despite the nerve-shivering bliss, Levi takes a little bit more time adjusting to the third finger Eren pushes, oiled, inside of him. The stretch is not unbearable – Levi has tolerable way more pain than three fingers shoved up his ass - but it's not as pleasant as it was before.

“Does it hurt?”.

“I've taken worse”, Levi growls in irritation and ache.

The fingers stop moving and he looks down at Eren, now watching him with a frown. “That is not how this is going to go, Levi”.

The older man sighs, secretly content at the stillness inside of him. “It doesn't _hurt_. It's just— _there_ ”.

“Well— _yeah_ ”.

“Fuck, you know what I mean, brat”. He's not as hard now, his member resting half-soft against his thigh due to that invasion. With a focus trained after six years of knowing the shifter, he can see Eren's doubt, he's want to almost ask him if he needs to stop, if he's sure. So he cuts him off before he does. “I'm _sure_ , Eren”.

The brunet nods, goes through the same calming routine of kissing his thighs, his hips, his groin while slowly starting to inch his fingers inside.

“For a first timer”, Levi breathes out, head resting once more on his pillow and eyes focused on the wooden ceiling, “you're doing well”.

He senses Eren's smile against the curve of his cock. “Back at you”.

At _that_...Levi doesn't know why, but how of all the surreal things that are happening right now – he's got fucking _fingers_ sticking out of his ass, for fuck's sake – _that_ is what makes him laugh. It's not more than a chortle but Eren finds the situation as funny as Levi does apparently, if his hardly contained hilarity is to go by. The raven-haired covers his face with his arm, chest hiccuping with laughter.

“Go on”, he tells him when he's back to himself.

And _man_ , does Eren go on.

For the umpteenth time since they've started, his cock is taken safely in Eren's warm mouth. This time, though, the shifter gives it his all. There are wet, gagging noises and an oh-so-delicious constriction around his crown that makes him inhale sharply. The three fingers inside him start moving again, slowly at first, tentative, and then the pace increases as the lips sliding up and down his girth quicken.

It takes the shifter some time but _then_ he finds it again. The _spot_. And Levi is groaning and writhing and he'd be so fucking embarrassed if it weren't for the astounding pleasure he feels at this precise moment. Maybe he will once all this is over but _fuck_ , right now all he wants to do is relax into it and fucking come. In Eren's mouth.

Levi is never very vocal in bed, limiting himself to pants and whispered moans and silent groans when he comes.

Those fingers are relentless, pushing and moving against that clump like a woman kneads sour dough. When a tongue teases his slit, Levi bites his lip to silence himself, bringing a hand downwards to clutch at Eren's head and guiding it lower onto his cock.

Eren rubs his spot harder, dragging the movement out but still on this side of teasing. A warm thumb settles on his taint, just underneath his sack, and pushes, massages the spot from the outside.

“ _Fuck_! Eren—”.

“I want you to come, Levi”, Eren orders him against the underside of his shaft, sucking kisses there and teasing his glans.

“Just don't fucking stop”.

“My mouth or my fingers?”.

Levi arches against him. “ _Both_ ”.

He feels Eren moaning against him and after a few moments of those vibrations and the unrelenting fingers inside him, the wave of pleasure floods down to his groin, taking his breath from him. He comes inside Eren, abdomen shivering and tensing while his hole twitches around tanned fingers. He sees a flash of light behind his eyelids as he squeezes his eyes closed, colourful stars appearing.

The shifter swallows around him and lets him go when the aftershocks become too much for him. Levi pants his exhaustion in quiet, heavy puffs of air. A wet mouth pecks him on his own, dry lips and the raven-haired let his arm flop on the side, uncovering his face.

“Good?”, Eren asks him with a small, timid smile, his voice a whisper against his mouth.

“Couldn't you tell?”.

They kiss languidly, leisurely for a few moments. Eren caresses down his sides, up his thighs and he circles his fingers around his navel when Levi stops to look at him.

“Do your worst”.

Eren stare into his eyes, affectionate and attentive. “Stop me if—”.

“I will”, Levi cuts him off, without bite and a hand on his cheek. “I will”.

The younger man's innocence shines through in that moment. Despite all the horrors and the death and the pain Eren had to suffer through life, when it comes to love Levi his young age becomes painfully obvious. All his romanticisms and little things that he's not afraid of doing or saying to his lover are proof of how naive and guileless Eren is in the matters of the heart. For Levi, that is a mystery. He grew up in a brothel in the dirtiest corners of the Underground, trained by the most moral-less criminal in the reign most probably.

Eren and him are made of the same substance. They're both soldiers, they both belief in humanity with an intensity that readies them to do whatever needs to be done. They have both stained their childhood with the dirty nectar of death. They're monsters, that's what people consider them. Yet, the shifter maintains an air of forthrightness and naivete that's refreshing in Levi's dark world and that's why _this_ – what they've done and they're about to do – is possible now for the raven-haired.

“On your front will be more comfortable”, Eren murmurs against his mouth.

For the first time in years, Levi understands first Farlan's then Eren's prompting in looking into his eyes. He doesn't know if it's the confirmation that it's indeed Eren who's about to pummel his cock in his ass or simply his sickening love for the brat, but Levi feels the need to look the other in the eye during the upcoming situation.

So he shakes his head. Slightly, almost imperceptibly, possibly afraid of being vulnerable in front of the shifter eye now.

The brunet settles between his legs – an unfamiliar sensation, opening his thighs to fit in Eren's hips – without questioning or stopping their mouth from moving against one another. The weight is surprisingly nice, warm and comforting in a way Levi couldn't have expected. Tanned hips rolls against his own, solid erection sliding against the line of his groin.

“ _Levi_ ”.

It's just a breath, a sigh that escapes the shifter with a small tremor as Levi's hand moves downwards and grabs his shaft. Despite what he says, the older man loves the sensation of Eren's in the fist of his fingers: the soft skin sliding beautifully around a hard core of blood and flesh. It's not as thick as Levi's but it is slightly longer.

At the other's touch, Eren jerks with a hiss. “ _Shit_ , you're cold”.

“Sorry”. From the small smirk it's obvious he really isn't.

“Liar”, Eren mocks before becoming serious. “You ready?”.

“I'm about to take a dick up my ass, what do you think?”.

Laughing shortly, Eren takes hold of his pale thighs and widens them before lowering a hand to guide himself inside, Levi giving him the honours to do it.

The push hurts. Obviously he has endured far worse during his time with his uncle, during the War; yet, the pressure makes him squirm and coerces him into jerking away from the persistent, slow progress. He can _feel_ the stretch and it's uncomfortable, the stinging, acute pain of something trying to fit in a too tight place.

Eren stops immediately and presses his own forehead to his, heaving. “Are you okay?”.

“It feels like I'm taking a huge shit”.

He can feels the other's laughter reverberating inside his body through his member. “You calling huge?”.

“I'm calling you a shit, brat. Keep up”, Levi hisses in discomfort. “How far along are we?”.

Teal eyes gaze down. “The head is not even in”.

“Fuck 'his shet”. There is a small hitch of embarrassment at the slip up of his Underground accent.

“You want to stop?”.

“No. Just—”, the older man breathes deeply to try and relax himself. “Just do it”.

It _does_ feel like he's taking a shit and it is painful and uncomfortable and Levi wonders why he decided to do this, probably not for the first time since they've started. He can't even remember. He just knows that time is dragging and what should be like minutes feels like hours. The sliding of Eren inside of him is a strange sensation to describe and in his mind there's the memory of a blade cutting along his back. But the sting is not the same, the pain is not belated. What reminds him of his uncle cutting between his shoulder blades is the total lack of control over the path and force of the weapon. Just like now.

 _Eren is not Kenneth, though_. And that is absurdly easy to remember.

Finally, after an hour or a day, Eren's hips stop their movement, now connected against his buttocks. “Tell me when”.

And divines bless his golden heart, the brat is in pain. Maybe not the same type of pain Levi currently is in but he knows from experience how much suffering immobility brings when you're inside someone. Warm puffs of breath caress his face like loving fingers and he can't help but open his eyes – when did he close them? - to revel in the sight of Eren above him.

They're close and with the deep sting of affection he notices the shut expression on the shifter's face, warped by self-control and tense-muscles. Against his body he can discern the dainty jolts along Eren's thighs, the shivers down his lower back and the contractions of his tight abdomen.

“Breathe, brat”.

“You're just so— _fuck_ —”. Eren groans at his involuntary grip around his cock.

“Sorry”. This time the apology is genuine. “Didn't mean to”.

“Uh. 'S fine”.

The pain has dulled down, still ever present but more a companionable friend than a wretched log in his side. Or up his butt.

Levi breathes. “Try moving”.

The cock inside him retreats deliciously slow before Eren slides back in in a long, dragged out thrust. “Fuck, _Levi_ ”.

The moan in his ear resembles more a low whine and Levi winces at the sudden bite on his neck. Skin vibrates for the groan Eren releases as his hips continue with their lazy, suffered pace. It's still an uneasy stretch but the noises Eren is making in his ears – all the whimpers and his droning purrs – send a pleasant shiver down his spine towards his balls. It becomes bearable, _familiar_ in spite of how strange that might sound.

Levi widens his legs and slides his hands down the brunet's back where muscles are moving in a hypnotizing flow under-skin. He arrives to the contracting globes of his ass and after tangling his calves around Eren's thighs he pulls the shifting hips closer at the same time he jerks his own up, meeting the younger man's thrust halfway.

The moan almost breaks him. “ _Levi_ ”.

“Faster”, he exhales, fingers clamping in the soft, hard muscles of the shifter's ass cheeks. “It's fine, go faster”.

He suppresses a mewl when Eren stops for an instant to shuffle his weight onto his knees, body still covering his own like a steamy, warm blanket, and then the shifter starts again. The pace increases gradually and now that Levi is as much an active participant as Eren the pain is just a little prick in the corner of his mind. The hard cock pushing in him is missing the spot with every thrust but he doesn't care: there is something to be said about having Eren in every possible way, inside of him as much as above him and around him. The gift he's giving the brat while hugging his waist with his legs and letting his head fall on the pillow, victim of this strange, indescribable pleasure is freely given; just like the gift Eren is giving him, protecting him with his body and reminding him that he's right there, whispering curses and moans in his ear, is enough to remind him the reasons why he blurted those words in the first place.

 _'I want you to fuck me'_.

With every plunge, Levi's breath is taken from him in loud pants he'll plausibly be ashamed of when all this is over. He's not hard but the pleasure is right there, echoing throughout his body, from the tips of his toes to the hairs on his nape.

“Eren”, he moans, hand travelling up to caress one cheek hidden against his own neck.

The shifter lifts his head and when teal eyes stare into mercurial globes, Levi notices the pace decreasing, slowing down to a sluggish, languid rhythm that pushes soft sighs out of him.

“You don't have to slow down. You can go faster”. The raven-haired is reminded of how attentive Eren was in sending him to orgasm before. “I want you to come, Eren”.

A soft mouth touches his own and he's surprise by the immense, _painful_ love he feels for this brat. “I want to come making love to you”.

It's a whisper so soft Levi would think it's a secret. And maybe it is. They've never talked about making love before, despite having made it different times during the three years they've spent together. Those words hanging in the air between them it's a new thing for both of them. It's a new start.

“Sappy brat”, he replies in the same conspirational tone.

“Only for you”. The blinding, starry-eyed smile Eren sends him melts his last defences.

He doesn't know what happens first and who moves before the other. In the same moment, Eren starts moving again, thrusts erotically leaden and smooth, as if he has done this before today. Their lips meet before opening to share the same breaths, the same air, the same words. A pale hand moves from a tanned cheek to intertwine its fingers with the ones currently placed on the pillow while the other still prods against an ass cheek, pulling hips along. It feels so good, so good that Levi can't imagine living without this in his life again. Odd thrusts sometimes plunge against his prostate and if he were younger again his cock would definitely get harder once more; the pleasure is intense and too much and just _perfect_.

It's so relaxed and _perfect_. Something Levi had never thought he could have.

“ _Eren_ ”. He can't stop sighing the name, tasting each letter on his tongue and its flavour on his palate. “ _Eren_ ”.

“Levi, I—”.

“Just come”, the raven-haired breaths in his ear, purposely tightening his inner muscles around Eren's rod. “Just come for me, Eren. Come for me”.

There's a chocked sob and a humid groan against his cheek, fingers clutch his own in a white-knuckled hold and Eren thrusts become messy, following no rhythm. The sensation of the brunet coming inside of him is awkward but not unpleasant: he can sense his cock jerking inside of him and Eren's seed hitting his walls. The golden body above him trembles with the aftershocks of his orgasm and the tremors make him hunch over Levi the same way a baby asks for their mother's protection. It's endearing and heart-warming. So the man bring his arms around the brunet and caresses his hair and his cheeks and his back; he kisses his shoulders and neck before pecking his temple.

They stay like that for what feels like an eternity, lost in one another. When Eren slips out of his body, Levi can't help a slightly disgusted curse in feeling the liquid finally coming out of him. It's tolerable tough, especially when Eren massages his thighs and his groin. The shifter settles next to him on his side in their usual position, and kisses his jaw reverently.

“How are you feeling?”.

Levi closes his eyes for a minute, trying to find an answer for that question. He feels sore, drowsy and relaxed. There's an unfamiliar vulnerability flooding his senses and he feels as bare as he's never felt before in his life. He feels content. He feels happy. He feels safe.

He feels _loved_.

“I'm fine”, he answers simply, turning on his side and looking into Eren's bright eyes. “You?”.

“That was—”. His forehead crumples in a thoughtful expression Levi has always found endearing and cute. “Intense”.

“Yeah”.

“Did you—did you like it?”.

He doesn't answer the question. There are no words to describe what Eren has gifted Levi today and he doesn't even want to try to explain himself. Not right now. So he just leans forward and kisses soft lips that sleepily reciprocate the affection.

Really, he should've seen this coming.


End file.
